Dear Sienna

Sweet Sienna,

You let me rock you to sleep tonight; what a precious one year gift for your mommy. Its been months since I've held you as your eyes drifted closed. You allowed me one more night to drink in your babyness, to savor your soft snuggles even I as dream about the walking, talking toddler you are becoming. This day is full of memories- watching the fireworks in the air as well as in my belly telling me your time was near and holding my newborn daughter with her head full of jet black hair. What a year we've had together- you and I! And I do mean together. You are a mommy's girl through and through and I think its because of all the time we've spent together battling out the hard times of this year. A year ago, I never imagined I would learn all about reflux, MPI, chiropractors, PPIs, and planning meals without dairy or tomatoes. But I did and I would do it all again in a heartbeat if needed.

With as many difficulties as we've had this year, you'd think I'd be ready to say good-bye and move on to the year you should outgrow this milk protein intolerance and hopefully wean off your reflux meds. But I'm not. I just love the baby year. It can be hard scheduling sometimes since we were nursing and I ran out of freezer milk a few months ago. But I will have years and years of not having to worry about missing a feeding. Now I have an excuse to slow down, to sit down and to cuddle with my baby. I only have two more nursings until I get on a plane and fly away to a second honeymooon with Daddy and I'm in tears now thinking of it. Its so final- the end of a stage. You will be much more independent of me and its bittersweet on my end. I think its bittersweet on your end too because somedays you just refuse to drink your soymilk.

When you feel good, you are the most joyful little girl. You laugh spontaneously and it makes my heart burst. You love playing peek-a-boo and "Where's Sienna" in which you cover your own eyes and then surprise us by peeking out. When I say its time to go night-night, you start blowing kisses. And if I'm lucky, I get a big, sloppy one right on my face. Your Daddy and I asked God if we could have a snuggly baby after having your independent-from-the-start sister. He said yes. I wore you in my sling for many months; it was both a lifesaver during those early confusing painful months and a security for many months past then.

You adore your big sister. Adore doesn't even come close. She is very patient with you; even a little mommyish sometimes but you put up with it well. You willingly oblige her commands for saying please in sign language even if you don't really want your cup. Again. You like to read just like she does and I love our reading times together before nap time. Your favorite book is "Moo, Baa, LaLaLa" or maybe that's just my favorite book to read to you. I love hearing you say moo but even more hearing you say Lalala. You do open your book drawer, stick your head in and say lalala so I think you like it too.

You still don't eat a wide variety of foods and some of that has to do with the one lone tooth peeking through your gums! Its hard to bite with no teeth! But what you lack in variety, you make up for in quantity. You, like your fellow Caskeys, enjoy eating. You are taking steps around but walking is not your preferred method of moving yet. It won't be long before you are running after your big sister. You have quite a few words with meaning: Dada, mama, aaaah-pple, muh (more), bye-bye, buh (banana, ball, book, whatever you need it to mean), up and this strange noise at the back of your throat for cookie and chicken. You follow basic commands like putting things away, giving something to me or my favorite: Aiyae (Hindi word meaning "come here!").

Many people have asked me how I've gone 10+ months without dairy or tomatoes while nursing you and expressed admiration for my willingness to do it. I don't see it that way. That was what was best for you. There was no choice in my mind and though I'm intensely desiring the mint chocolate chip milkshake that awaits me on Tuesday, it wasn't a sacrifice. I'd swear off dairy for the rest of my life if that kept you healthy and pain-free. A mother's love is fierce.

I couldn't understand how I would love two as much as I love one but its happened. I can't explain it; it just is. You are amazingly different from your sister yet my heart stops for both of you. You fill my world with light and joy and I don't want to miss a moment. I know these years are fleeting so my baseboards may not have been scrubbed [ever] and that computer box may have been sitting in the hall for 2 months but I have loved and laughed and lived with you and Kiran and Daddy. That is what matters.

You are my joy, sweet Sienna. I love you so much. Happy first birthday!

11 Months

Sienna hit the big 11 months on Friday. I cannot even believe next month she will be one. Let's not talk about it.

Sienna is getting a tooth! Her first one finally popped through a few days ago after struggling under the surface for two weeks. I'm hopeful there is another just behind it and all that teething fun wasn't just for one tooth.

She's turned into a big girl on me. We play the game "Who is my Big Girl?" and Kiran always answers "Me!" and "Who is my Baby?" is always answered with "Sienna!" But soon I'll have two big girls. Sienna's favorite thing to do is follow Kiran around. She always looks for Kiran first when she wakes from her nap and crawls to her door if Kiran is still in her room. I have to physically remove Sienna from the time out corner when Kiran is serving her time. It just doesn't seem like punishment when your sister is there making silly faces at you.

I asked Jonathan if we should have a theme for Sienna's first birthday party. These are the ones he's come up with so far:

• birthday
• 1st birthday
• Atlanta Braves
• Indian-themed naming ceremony
• Summer is great
• Great Moments in baseball on the 4th of July (Rick Camp)
• My First Prom

We are still negotiating.

Sienna loves to eat a baked sweet potato every night for dinner. She tears into it. I love it. We made progress today in the milk department. I've tried giving her soy formula the last few times I've missed a feeding since we needed to know if she was still intolerant to soy. She didn't seem to have a reaction but got to the point where she wouldn't take the bottle or sippy cup at all- she would just throw it. Today I introduced Soy Milk in her sippy cup- not as a replacement for nursing but in addition to. At first she would drink some, say "Ah" and let it all fall out of her mouth. But tonight's sweet potato was pretty hot so she guzzled some down. I really hope she continues to drink it because J & I leave a month from today for Hawaii and she needs to have some sort of milk to drink while we are gone.

9 Months Old!

Yeah Sienna turned 9 months old yesterday. The day Jonathan returned from his trip to Myanmar (he has promised to guest post about that!) and the day I forgot to go to the Persalls to hang out with Brian & SB (So sorry! Public apology! So glad we got to see you today!).

So let's see...this has been a big month! Sienna started crawling at 8 1/2 months. At first she would just go one or two crawls (is that what you call them?) but now she is everywhere. Which means we've had to start disciplining her because she's grabbing cords or pulling her sister's hair or eating any number of things that she shouldn't be. Just yesterday I turned the corner out of the kitchen and she was standing up holding on to the chair. Now she thinks she can stand without holding on. So she'll pull herself up, look around and let go. We've had a lot of tumbles and tears since this all began yesterday. And she keeps wanting to stand up in the bath. No, no Sienna.

See, Mom, I got it! No problem!

She babbles a lot- bababa and mamama (but only when she's upset). She still has no teeth and none that we can feel but I'm ok with that because I love toothless babies!!! I hope its still a while before she gets teeth! We've been slow in introducing new foods because of reactions and reflux flare ups and waiting extra because of the current allergies. She only eats bananas, rice cereal, baby oatmeal, avocados, carrots, green beans, peas, sweet potatoes, and now puffs. Twice we've tried pears and twice she's had very fussy times after. Those are supposed to be the least allergenic fruit. I must have had dairy last week at the beach because she had a very classic reaction. Unfortunately the reaction lasted just as long as they have previously so my hopes that she was outgrowing it were dashed.

Sienna likes to wave at herself and has definately had bouts of separation anxiety this month. I think the best part of this past month has been the development of Kiran and Sienna's relationship. Now that Sienna can move, those two have been playing non-stop. Their favorite game is the one where Kiran will go hide in Sienna's closet and Sienna will crawl over there and open the door. They both just fall over laughing and Kiran will yell, "She found me Mommy! See-nee-na found me!" Repeat 14 times. Kiran has been calling Sienna "See-nee-na" for a while now and I love it. In fact, I've found myself accidentally calling Sienna that a few times. But over the past week Kiran has slowly started to pronounce her name the proper way and I kinda miss See-nee-na.

So even though I have yet to write Sienna's name in her baby book, I think this counts as marking the milestones.

Linger

My sweet Sienna-

All of the sudden it hit me this week that you won't be a baby much longer. I kept thinking of your toddler year as being far away but in just four short months you will be 1! We are 2/3 of the way through your baby year, closer to the end than the beginning of it, and I'm kinda emotional about it. I feel like I never get enough of you. I never get enough smiles through your crib rails when I come to get you from napping. I never get enough squeals of laughter when I blow on your tummy. I never catch enough moments of your face lighting up when we are playing peek-a-boo. I want to grab these fleeting moments and hide them somewhere sacred and safe so that when you grow up I can pull them back out, inhaling your babyness, embracing your innocence.

I remember being surprised when you were born that I didn't know you. I had forgotten the get-to-you process that we needed to undertake. I had grown you and felt your kicks, punches and hiccups but I didn't know how you liked to be held or when you liked to go to sleep. But now, oh I know you so well. I know that you did not want to suck on a pacifier but will gladly chew on one now. I know that you will giggle when I bend down to tickle you. I am coming to terms with the fact that you are an introvert and sometimes prefer to be alone. But I also know there is no one who compares to Mommy in your eyes.

Your first year has not been easy with all your intolerances and refluxes yet when you are not screaming, you are so joyful. I think you are going to be our drama queen, our passionate one. I think you will only know how to live 100% and will never understand those who live life cautiously. You are my delight and I do treasure my time with just you. Last night your big sister spent the night with her grandparents and you and I wandered into the library as we do about once a week. I plopped you up on the counter so I could ask for the books they had pulled for me and they flocked to you. Every one of the ladies behind the counter was enamored with you. (I think it helped you were wearing the purple footed outfit with the ruffles on the back- its one of my favorites.) The ladies kept telling me that I had to bring you back and I just wanted to exclaim that you had come before. You are usually overshadowed by your enchanting, charming, verbal old sister. But not for long. You will hold your own in the personality department; I am sure of that.

You are changing before my eyes. Every day you impress with a new skill you have learned: shaking your head no, waving your arm, making your way to the books your sister has stratigically placed far away from you. I think that's part of the emotion welling in me- I see you changing. Leaving baby behind- embracing the future and the freedom it offers. Oh my precious- linger a while longer.

Lord willing I'll hold more babies, nursing them, rocking them but they won't be you. It won't be your baby smell, your toothless smile, your tiny toes and fingers. It won't be you I have to restrain from leaping in the bathtub fully clothed every time I turn the water on. So let's linger... just you and me...we'll linger together as long as possible, drawing out these baby days till we cannot postpone the inevitible any longer.

I love you my baby girl.

Sienna's Snow Day (aka Daddy's Birthday)

You can click on the collages to make them bigger.

Winter Storm Watch

In honor of the Winter Storm Watch that we are under, I thought I would *finally* post a few pictures from our last winter storm. Greenville People- remember when it snowed last month? What? Huh? Oh that's right...it didn't snow there. Hum. Maybe you'll get some of the 3-6 inches this time around.



I found this adorable Lands End snow suit for $5!! at a consignment shop around town. I'm so happy she got to wear it. I hope it still fits...

I really hope he wasn't throwing that at our two year old. Or our baby.

Smile Outfit

Kiran, 14 months

Sienna, 7 months

Who Are You?

I'm not really sure what happened to my girls this week.

Kiran, who has been on a nap strike since November, has taken a 2-3 hour nap almost every day this week. I woke her up at 4pm today after she slept 3 hours and 15 minutes so that she would go to bed tonight! Who are you???
And Sienna has just been....well....happy. She's been so content to just sit and play with toys. When she fusses, I just pick her up and move her to another spot with different toys and she's content once again. Its been so....wonderful. Who are you???

Wednesday Words

• Header. I need a new header for the blog. I was playing around with pictures and left that one of Sienna up. I'd say I don't have time to make one but then I do dumb stuff like watch LOST with Jonathan even though I think its the dumbest tv show ever. So next Wed at 9, I'm making a new header.
  
• Virus. I got a yucky virus last week. My mom had to come take care of the girls on Thursday b/c I was so pitifully sick (Thanks Mom!). And while I got a little better, I didn't fully recover till yesterday. That is a long time to not feel good. It reminded me of being pregnant. Shudder. (disclaimer: I like being pregnant in that I'm growing a child and I think its one of the best parts of being female. I just don't like being sick all the time.) (Another disclaimer: I'm not pregnant. I just had a virus.)
  
• House. My sister and family moved into their new house last week. If you only knew the ordeal it has been for them.
• Computer. Yesterday Sienna grabbed my full bottle of water and threw it all over my laptop! My mouse would move but not click except on the first tab of Firefox and then only sometimes. But I prayed out loud over my computer this morning before I turned it on and it has worked perfectly all day! (Sorry Sienna our plan for a Mac didn't work!)
  
• Clingy. Sienna has been clingy lately and I haven't had any dairy. I don't know what is going on but it wears me out. I just want her to feel good and have a happy babyhood.
  
• Running. Or lack of. I haven't run in 1.5 weeks! I got new shoes, it rained and then I was sick. I wanted to go today so I checked the weather. 32 degrees, feels like 21 degrees. I will not take my babies out in that. Sigh. What to do?
• Tatiana. If I was Eastern European and had a baby girl, I'd name her Tatiana.
  

Where Do They Come Up With This Stuff?

Its short- I Promise! About 14 seconds.

First Taste

Cloth Diapers

I mentioned that we switched Sienna to cloth diapers. I'm still loving that decision even though we only have 5 and I have to wash them every night! I look forward to building my stash.

So why did I decide to switch to cloth diapers? Well, I kept hearing from other people about how easy they were nowadays (these aren't your mama's cloth diapers) and I kinda thought, "Why not?" Since Sienna is the second girl, there was very little she needed for Christmas. So I did some research and asked the grandmothers for cloth diapers.

I started researching by reading online. This blog post was one of the most helpful as well as this message board dedicated to cloth diapering. Once I had the basics down, I turned to Emily to ask questions of a "real" mom who used cloth diapers. (Andrea- I had no idea you used them too or I would have been picking your brain too!) I decided to do a pocket diaper and go with BumGenius. I liked the BumGenius pocket diapers because they are adjustable and they should last Sienna for the rest of her diaper wearing time. Many other types of cloth diapers come in different sizes so you need to buy some of each of the sizes. I don't have any experience using these with a newborn but they fit Sienna wonderfully now. We haven't had a single leak or explosion since Sienna started wearing them.

We received 5 pocket diapers (they each come with 1 liner and 1 newborn liner) and 2 additional liners. We use about 5 diapers during the day so I'm using them every day and washing every night. I use a disposable diaper for nighttime but when I get more, I plan to use them at night too (maybe with a double liner). I hang the diapers and the liners to dry overnight and use them again the next day! I'd love to invent a washing machine with a cloth diaper cycle on it!

Honestly, I love them. I really wish I had done this years ago. Its a little annoying having to wash every night but worth it. They are pretty bulky so Sienna def has a booty now. Plus they are so darn cute!

So if you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'll share from my three weeks of experience! Plus
Emily, Andrea and Jeni use BumGenius
SaraBeth uses Fuzzi Bunz
My friend in "real life" Melanie uses Prorap

I'm sure any of them would be happy to talk about their experience with cloth diapering. I can put you in touch with them if you want- just email me. I just realized everyone but Melanie lives or lived overseas. Coincidence?

I Love Etsy

I like the idea of putting the child's name on the wall. We used the wooden letters with Kiran so I wanted something different for Sienna. I found Synergy Signworks on Etsy and worked with them to create a custom decal for Sienna's room. We ordered it in time for Christmas and I love it! It almost completely covers up the mess that came from Grant's name. I think my Magic Eraser will take care of the rest.

6 Months!

Oh my, Oh my. 6 months have passed since I birthed that baby. Half a year. To me, this is the biggest month milestone. They go from being sweet little babies to big sitting crawling standing cruising??? babies. Oh my, Oh my.
Erin G- you will be thrilled to know that not only did I take some pictures of Sienna on her 6th month birthday but I got my parents to bring their fancy camera over and take fancy pictures.

Sienna came in at 15lbs 7oz (25-50%), 24.8in (10-25%) and her noggin is 17 in (50-75%). She's checked out perfectly healthy.

She is sitting pretty good on her own and spinning herself around in circles on her belly. She now usually flips over to her belly to sleep for her naps and at night. She puts everything in her mouth and removes her socks at an alarming speed. She likes to play in her exersaucer and in her high chair.

Sienna has had a rough time with milk protein intolerance and reflux. I've thought for a long time (since she screamed in her car seat all the time- remember that? Oh thank God that is over) that she had a mild case of reflux. It seemed to be handled well by modifications- raising the head of her mattress, keeping her upright, etc. Mid-December she started waking up at night screaming and it would take a good hour to get her back to sleep. We decided to try Zantac and the doctor warned us that it would take 5-7 days before we would see results. Sure enough, on the 5th night, her night wakings just stopped except for one early morning feeding.

I'm so glad that we have the pediatrician that we do now. His second son had the same two issues and his wife eliminated dairy from her diet as well. He really understands what we are going through and has excellent tips to help us- as well as a light at the end of the tunnel. She will outgrow these issues and shouldn't have any lasting effects. We haven't started solid food with her yet but will start cereal soon. We'll introduce a new food every 5-6 days since kids with these issues are at a slightly higher risk for food allergies.

When Sienna is happy, she is really happy. Her smile and laugh are infectious. She has a huge cheerleader in her big sister. "Look Mommy! Sienna is sitting all by herself! Yea Sienna!" is all I've heard for days now. Kiran is our ray of light and Sienna is our little bubble of joy.

Scenes from the Beach

The first night we were at the beach, we went out to eat at a seafood restuarant near our condo. Kiran convinced Mimi to take her to the little girls' room. Kiran ran back into our dining area and yelled, "I WENT POTTY!" Two of the tables beside us burst into applause.

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Same restaurant, I was standing up holding Sienna since she didn't want us to sit down with her. A man at the next table was making conversation. Then he asked me AS I'M HOLDING MY NOT YET 6 MONTH OLD BABY if we were already expecting another one. Wow. No just the baby weight from this one thank you. Geesh.

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The last night we ate at K&W cafeteria. The girls were the hit of the restuarant. Every person in line talked to them and Kiran captured quite an audience as she ate. A lady came up to us near the end of our meal and said, "You must be very proud of her," while pointing at Kiran. We all kind of nodded. Kiran had been on her best behavior mostly because of the Jello and I was proud of her. The lady continued, "She sure can eat a lot of food." Yes, yes she can.

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Ok I had a request for a potty training post so I'll do that one. Maybe a cloth diaper one? Any other requests?

New Years Day

I was reflecting on some of the questions that SimpleMom posted on her blog and I really want to hear from you the answer to the first question.

What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

It was very easy for me: Sienna Alice Caskey. I spent the first 6 months of 2008 growing her in my belly and the last 6 getting to know her, falling in love with her, and holding her in my arms. She has deepened my capacity to love and challenged my patience and energy to levels never hit before (milk protein intolerance and reflux). I think I'm able to enjoy her babyness more than I did with Kiran and I absolutely love squeezing her chunky thighs, playing peek-a-boo to make her laugh and nursing her day and night. I love that my memories of her birth are very pleasant ones- no interventions except that blessed epidural. So Sienna Alice was absolutely the single best thing that happened this past year.

What about you? I'd love to hear the single best thing that happened to you in 2008.

Caskey Cousins

Last month we were in Lancaster for Jonathan's grandmom's funeral. After the service, the church brought a huge lunch for all the family back at the house.

Jay trying to hold Sienna's hand

He succeeded! Jay is Sienna's cousin- older by only 3 weeks!

Kiran is hugging their other Caskey cousin William (4).

I like this picture. Sienna is REALLY happy.

Santa pics

Kiran's first Santa pics Christmas 2006

2007- Kiran with Santa 15 months

2008- Sienna 5 months and Kiran 2

Digital SLR

I did not get a Digital SLR camera. :(

BUT my parents did. :)

So we've been playing with it.

They brought me an early Christmas present- my double jogging stroller!!! I can't wait to use it!

Sienna is wearing the My First Christmas pjs that I wore 27 years ago! She has to wear them now because she'll prob outgrow them by Christmas (to be fair- I was born in Sept and she was born in July).