Fun Fact

The boys were admitted the night of the Opening Ceremonies. If they were discharged today, they would come home the day of the closing ceremonies.

But since they were discharged yesterday, its not going to happen!

Our first family of 6 picture (yes I know K has her eyes closed- its the best we have so far. Maybe one of the grandparents got a better shot)

Kiran reading us all the book "God Gave Us Two"

NICU: A Blessing?

(I'll be the first to admit this was not how I was feeling on Sunday (when I started this post!) as anyone who spoke to me at church can attest. But for the majority of the past 14 days this has been true.)

I was disappointed when we determined it would be best for the boys to induce at 34 weeks. I knew that they would need NICU time instead of coming home with me. I don't think its possible to understand the heartache of birthing a child and then not being with them in the hours,days just after their birth. My heart and body ache for them to be with me. That's what a mommy does- she takes care of her children. It goes against every biological urge to leave them and not be the one protecting and providing for her babies.

But...Jonathan and I found over the last 14 days that this NICU time has indeed been a blessing to our family. Has it been hard? Absolutely. But every day I get to go up to the NICU and focus solely on my babies. I get to feed them, nurse them, snuggle with them and rock them for up to 5 hours a day. What mom of 4 can spend that time just loving on her newest baby? In the NICU, I'm allowed to be completely focused on loving the babies and when I'm at home with the girls, I can be completely there also.

We've had time to spend some last quality time just the 4 of us- especially since I feel so much better now. I'm not just observing my family as I have the last few months but I'm able to participate in life with them again. And I'm enjoying these precious last days with just my girls. Life has already changed and will change dramatically again when these boys come home. What a gift to have a few extra days to play Super Stretchy ABC with K & S, to take them to CFA, to go feed the ducks (or not b/c it was FREEZING yesterday) and do activities that we will still do after the babies come home but it will be harder or it may be with only one of their parents instead of both of us.

Even though I had wanted to skip this whole NICU thing, even through that God has been pouring out mercy, grace and blessing on our family.

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The boys snuggling with their favorite nurse Tyner!

The boys are making great progress! Their weights are going up- Owen finally hit 5lbs! Their bilirubin has just started going down and they are eating all by bottle. Owen has had his feeding tube out for more than 24 hours. We are getting close to having them home with us and we can't wait. Although if we show up and they are gone, we know Tyner took them.

Getting Back on Track

Well the boys are getting back on track. They spent Sat night to Tues morning under the lights. Their bilirubin went down but now it needs to continue to go down even though they aren't under the lights.

Rhys

So now we just need them to eat their bottles and put on weight! Rhys did really well today- nursing good and eating all of his bottles with no trouble. Owen still tuckers out after half of his. Hopefully Owen will wake up soon and start taking all of his bottles or he's going to be left behind when his brother comes home. The only thing worse than have two kids at home and two kids in the NICU is having two kids and a baby at home and another baby in the NICU.

Owen

They really are beautiful and perfect and I cannot wait to show them to the world.

All the noise was getting to Owen

My doctors in Houston called to check on us. They told us that Rhys & Owen were some of the furthest along twins with some of the heaviest weights and closest weights that they'd had. And the nurse said I was only the third person she knew of that was able to successfully avoid a C-section. God just rocked on this one. He gave us abundantly more than we imagined.

Daddy with his future left-handed pitchers?

The nurse took their measurements today- head circumference, abdomen and length- and they were exactly the same in all of their measurements.

P.S. We are looking for a few things- a crib mattress and a changing table pad. Leave a comment or email me if you have one that we can borrow or buy from you if you are done with it. Thanks!

Setback

We were moving along beautifully and then their bilirubin levels rose. They had moved out of isolettes and were maintaining their temperature really well.

Both boys were eating good- Owen was making a lot of progress in eating all his bottles.

Daddy feeding Rhys

They dropped their IVs totally.

Snugging with our babies

But their bilirubin levels rose again so we put them back under the phototherapy lights. The lights make them really tired and lethargic. So they aren't eating as well. In fact this morning the nurse had to put a tube in Rhys's nose for the first time to help him eat. It makes me sad that we seem to be going backwards. I'm so anxious to get them home. They need to do 3 things to be discharged:

1. get rid of the jaundice

2. gain weight for 2 days straight

3. eat all milk by bottle

And here's the long awaited picture of them side by side. I thought Owen's face was rounder- and it sure is!

Owen- left Rhys- right

Those Dern Bilirubin Levels

I talked to Rhys and Owen's nurse this morning and they are both doing great. However, their bilirubin levels are creeping back up. Pray that they would reverse and start going down on their own. Owen still isn't quite taking all of his milk by bottle although he has made great progress in the last few days. He doesn't eat well when he's under the bilirubin lights because it tires him out. They are going to check their levels again at 3- if they are over 12 they will have to go back under the lights. Rhys's were 11.9 this morning so we need his body to work fast! Thanks for praying!

Wait- We Have Other Children???

Kiran & Sienna have been amazing throughout this whole pregnancy/hospitalization/birth/NICU experience. Its been a huge joy for me to be home with them again AND to feel better. I feel better now than I have in 8 months.

I decided it was time for Sienna's first haircut. We have a place that will do baby's first haircut for 1 cent and they give you a certificate and everything. Of course, the big sister had to go first to show the little sister that it was ok.

When it was Sienna's turn, she hopped right up into the race car.

Sienna got her baby mullet cut off.

And Kiran got a princess hair style which she proclaimed that her Daddy would think was very pretty. And he did.

One Step At A Time

It seems that every day we go to visit the boys, they have taken one step closer to coming home! They are both off the lights for jaundice so they get to wear clothes now! They are being weaned off the temperature controlled air in the isolette so that they can move to open air cribs.

They have both tolerated an increase in food every day. They are eating one ounce now and have been able to lose all nutrition through their IV. Now they just have fluid coming in. The next step is to increase the food enough so they will lose the IV completely. Rhys is still taking all his by mouth while Owen only takes about half. Owen does seem to be getting more proficient at eating so hopefully he'll transition to all bottle soon.

I got to start trying to nurse the boys when they were 3 days old. The first time neither of them had any idea what to do. Since then I've only worked with Rhys so that Owen can focus on the bottle. From the second day on, Rhys has started latching- sometimes he'll eat and sometimes he doesn't. I love being able to do something so normal with him.

Thanks for your continued prayers! The boys have been making fantastic progress. Kiran is so excited for them to come home. She always asks us how they are doing. Every day she tells us certain songs she wants us to sing to them- yesterday it was "Jesus Loves Me" and " Jesus Loves the Little Children." Sienna is no longer scared of my pump so that makes life a little less stressful.

Holding Them

Our new schedule has been Jonathan will stop by the Nicu on the way to work for an hour or so then I'll go in the afternoon while someone stays with the girls. Then after they are asleep, one of us will go back up for a little while.

The boys have moved into the same room and the best part about that is we can hold them at the same time now! Jonathan got to do it first yesterday and I was a bit jealous. But I got my turn in the afternoon.

Rhys is on the left and Owen is on the back wall. They have dropped their feeding tubes and are taking breastmilk by bottle. Owen only takes about 3/4 of his by bottle so he does have a tube back in his nose for now. But thankfully his tummy is tolerating the food so he can keep increasing the amount with his brother.

I've gotten to do some kangaroo care which is holding the baby skin-to-skin like a kangaroo does.

I got to practice some with Rhys yesterday and then today...

I got to do kangaroo care with both of them at the same time. It was probably the sweetest thing I've ever done in my whole life. The boys both slept peacefully on my chest and I could look at them and smell them and just love on them.


They are both jaundiced and sunning under the lights. Hopefully that will be resolved in a few days because when they are done with the lights, they will be moving to open air cribs.

Do you know which one is which? This is Owen.

Our Nicu's policy is no one is allowed inside but the parents during cold and flu season. So yes that means the girls haven't met them. It means the grandparents haven't met them. We wish they could but we understand its keeping the little babies safe.

And Rhys.

How long will they be in the Nicu? Its really hard to say but 3 weeks will put them at 37 weeks gestation so we'll go with that.

For more pictures:

Rhys and Owen - Feb. 12, 2010

If You Don't...

...have a friend like Brenna, you are seriously missing out on one of life's greatest blessings. I cannot even begin to recount all Brenna has done for me during this pregnancy and birth.

She has volunteered to coordinate a care calendar for us to organize help for us. Right now our main needs are food (always!) and sometimes I need someone to watch the girls in the afternoon so I can go to the Nicu. If you are curious, I put the link and log in information on the left hand column.

A New Normal

I came home today. I cried as I left. I was so heartbroken to leave the boys yet I was so happy to be going home to my girls. I missed them so much during my hospital stay.

Rhys in his isolette

I cried as I left my house tonight to go back to the NICU. Every time I get in the car, I'm leaving somebody.

Owen in his isolette

The boys are making fantastic progress. They both weaned off the cannulas today and are breathing room air. They started taking a little bit of food by bottle. The next steps are taking enough food by bottle to be able to get their feeding tubes out and taking them out of the isolettes and into open air cribs. When their feeding tubes are out, I'll be able to start nursing them. When they are in open air cribs, they will be able to share a space, thought not a crib, and we can have them close together again.

The Lord continues to send us small reminders of His goodness. Their primary night nurse is a girl we grew up with at church. She was in the discipleship group I led when I was in college and she was in high school. She helped hand out programs at my wedding. And now she's taking care of the boys at night when I can't be there. It is so comforting to have her there loving on them.

Birth Story

On the morning of my 8th day in the hospital, we headed down to Labor & Delivery at 5am. Unfortunately, somehow I wasn't on the schedule. And so the plan that we had... it was just the beginning of things not going according to plan...

Around 6am they started getting me ready, giving me fluids, etc. We decided to give me my epidural first since I have a history of going fast on Pitocin. I got my epidural at 7am and promptly bottomed out. My blood pressure went down to 60/30 and I felt pretty terrible. The boys, however, did fantastic during the whole episode which was very reassuring that they would handle labor and delivery well. The nurse anesthetist had to give me a lot of drugs to get my blood pressure back up. Because of the drugs, the boys' heart rates were high so we had to wait until their heart rates came down to start inducing. Thankfully the anesthesiologist had decided to only give me 4 of the medicine instead of the normal 10 since I'm a small person. Truly the protection of the Lord.

Sometime around 8, my OB tried to break my water but Rhys just didn't have a lot of fluid around him so that was kind of a bust. At 10am, we finally started a low dose of Pitocin. I began to have regular contractions and progress slowly. We had an uneventful few hours. at 3:15 my other OB checked me and I was 7cm. My OBs thought I would go fast at that point so they said they would be back in a few minutes to check me again. 15 minutes later, I told Jonathan to go track them down unless he wanted to deliver the baby. My other OB checked me and I was ready. Then everyone flew into motion- getting me to the OR, getting NICU down, etc. The whole time I'm trying really really hard not to have this baby before they tell me to. Finally they tell me to push and about two pushes later, Rhys was born at 3:50 pm. Jonathan walked in literally as he was born. Rhys was crying and all pink. I think his apgars were 8 and 9. Rhys was 5 pounds 1 ounce.

It was very surreal to hear one baby crying and still be in labor. Owen decided to turn transverse after Rhys came out. So my OB and my other OB worked to turn him. He turned pretty easily- to breech. So he came out feet first 6 minutes after Rhys. His apgars were also 8 and 9. Owen weighed 4 pounds 13 ounces. I got to hold each of them for just a minute before they were whisked away to the NICU.

My two OBs, Jonathan and I examined my placenta after the birth. It was pretty cool- you could see scar tissue from my surgery.

My blood pressure dropped again after birth- not nearly as low but low enough to make me nauseous. I took a while to feel better and finally after shift change we got to see and touch Rhys and Owen.

This has been by far my easiest recovery after birth. So many praises. I could not have had a better delivery and recovery. I'm so thankful for my 2 OBs- one of whom stayed 4 hours late just to help with my delivery. They were so confident that it made me believe that we could do it.

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Update on the boys: They both came off the ventilators at about 24 hours old. They are on nasal cannulas and the nurses are hoping to wean them off that soon. The NICU was closed all afternoon because of a loss today but we're hoping to be able to hold them tonight.

Welcome to the World!

Rhys Fitzgerald was born at 3:50 p.m., weighing 5 lbs. 1 oz.

Owen William was born at 3:56 p.m., weighing 4 lbs. 13 oz.

Rhys in Kelley's arms before heading to the NICU.

Now Rhys is being looked after in the NICU. He was being put on a ventilator when we left.

Owen had a shorter stay with us in the OR before heading to the NICU. We told him he looked just like his brother.

Owen decided it would be nice to hold Daddy's finger for a little bit.

We were able to see and touch the boys for a little while tonight in the NICU. We're told that we should be able to hold them tomorrow. Kelley is feeling really good - it was a very good delivery. She's so thankful that many of your prayers were answered, such as not having to have a c-section.

The boys thought it would be a good idea to come on Chief's birthday and in the middle of our biggest snow of the year!

Now it's time for rest! More tomorrow...

Last

Thanks to some wonderful grandparents, the girls have been up here every day to visit. That has helped a hard situation be a little bit easier on everyone.

Kiran and I took belly shots

Sienna had to get in on the action too

Our last family of four picture!

The ultrasound tech weighed the boys today just to see how close the estimate would be. Today's ultrasound estimated Rhys to be 5lbs 5oz and Owen to be 4lbs 13oz. Today's MFM appointment was pretty joyful- everyone was very excited for me. One dr even called my walk to the room my "walk of victory." We did it. We made it.
Thanks for all the encouragement- we have been so loved through all of this. I can't wait to share our boys with you. We'll update tomorrow when we can- obviously our first priority is those little boys. And here you go...one last belly pic- 34 weeks

What Is That?

What is that? Oh those are the boys heads- both head down! They have both been head down for the past 3 days! I'm so excited. I just hope they decide to stay that way for another day.

We have a plan. The plan is to induce early Friday morning and that two of my OBs will be there in case we need to do a breech delivery for #2. As with any delivery, there are many things that could go wrong. Will you pray with us for a complication-free delivery? After the boys are born they will go to the NICU where only mom and dad are allowed to visit right now because its cold and flu season. So tomorrow is my last day being pregnant. Maybe ever. *tear

P.S. Friday is my dad's birthday. Happy Birthday Chief! Here's two grandsons.

P.P.S. I've been gathering addresses for birth announcements so I just decided that if you would like to receive one, email me your snail mail address. I want to send them to as many people that have supported us and prayed for us as possible. My email is kelley . caskey @ gmail . com (take out the spaces)

The Emotions

One of my maternal fetal doctors (MFM) called me stoic. I'm not going to name names but it may or may not be the one who goes to my church and actually knows me outside of the office. Anyway, I have always thought that I'm terrible at hiding my emotions- you can usually read them all over me. I thought I'd take a minute and let you know that I do, in fact, have emotions.

I'm about to become a mom again. It seems very surreal. This pregnancy has been so entirely different than my other two that its hard for me to realize that the end result is the same: a baby or two. I've been so focused on the pregnancy- eating right, resting enough, drinking a ton of water, etc- that I've barely focused on the fact that I'm going to have two sons.

I'm about to become a mom to boys. I don't even know what to expect! I'm so so excited that I get to be a mom to both genders. I'm looking forward to being loved by sons and raising strong young men. I'm a little intimidated by toddler boys but at least they don't come out as toddlers.

I'm about to become a mom of multiples. I never, ever, ever expected that I would be a mom to multiples. I always have been fascinated by multiples and I think that, since I'm not a twin, being a mom to twins is definitely the next best thing. I think it will be intriguing to watch the twins grow up and see how it is different from having just one at a time. I wonder how much harder it will be to have two babies at once instead of one. But again, I'm a little more scared of having two toddlers at once than babies.

I'm about to become a mom to four under four. I've always wanted three, four, five kids... but they came a wee bit faster than I anticipated. I feel very overwhelmed thinking about caring for all of them all day, every day. People always tell me that God won't give me more than I can handle. I think God and I have very different ideas of what I can handle. The good thing is that I'm under NO impression that I can do this in my own strength. I don't have the depth to meet all their needs. I know I will fail if I do not daily surrender to the power of the resurrection and claim Phil 4:13. His strength. He strengthens me. I have a feeling I will learn this full stop this next year or 18 years.

I'm about to become a mom to preemies. Again another title I never imagined I'd have. I'm not as scared as maybe I should be. The survival rates and long term prognosis for 34 week twins are the same as full term twins. The only difference is a little NICU stay. I feel so thankful we have made it this far. The boys have a great chance. We toured the NICU tonight meeting nurses and learning procedures and there were many 26, 27 week babies in there. I cannot help but be joyful that my babies are almost 34 weeks. I wanted so badly to carry them to term and not have to do NICU. But I'm learning that for TTTS babies- 34 weeks practically is term. They just don't make it past that. The Lord has been gracious to us. 20 years ago, our twins would have had about a 10% chance to survive at all. Now we are looking at big preemies who will hopefully get to go home with us soon.

Wow I must have had a lot of emotions to talk about. The only time I cried today was when I got flowers from some of the best friends in the world. Ah I might tear up again. At least no one can see me.

The Details

Hello from Room 640! I am chilling in my suite on the luxury hall over here at the hospital. It has been quite an exciting few days but we are a little settled now.

We are probably looking at a case of reverse TTTS. Rhys now has less fluid (although still adequate) and Owen has quite a lot of fluid. We were concerned that it was an acute case which means it was happening very quickly so the MFM drs admitted me for constant monitoring. Through all the ultrasounds and monitoring, we determined that its not acute and we are stable. But the doctors want to monitor us closely so we are here till the boys come. Because of all that my placenta has been through, we've decided that after 34 weeks, the risks of them staying in are greater than the risks of them being born. So if they have not indicated a reason for them to be born before Friday or I haven't gone into labor by then, we will induce. Yes induce! If everything goes perfectly between now and Friday (or if I go into labor on my own between now and then) then we can still try for a "normal" delivery. If the boys show any negative monitoring before labor or during labor, we'll be having a c section.

I've gotten both steroid shots to help develop the lungs which is a huge advantage. They also put me on antibiotics and cleared up that horrible sore throat I had. Now if I could just get rid of this cough in case I have a c section...

We are praying the boys will continue to thrive and that the fluid levels will remain stable or improve. We're praying we make it to Friday to give them every bit of time in the womb to mature. We're praying for a complication free delivery and a short NICU stay. Even though its sooner than we had hoped, we are getting very excited about meeting our boys. We'll keep you updated!

Friday Update

At Kelley's appointment yesterday, we saw that Rhys' fluid levels were significantly lower than Owen's, which is the opposite of our problem back in November. However, it's not as serious as it was back then. After 24 hours of monitoring at the hospital, the doctors decided that it would be best for her to stay at the hospital for the rest of the pregnancy The boys are fine right now as the fluid levels had not worsened between yesterday and today.

Additionally, the doctors told us that they will go ahead and deliver the boys next Friday, Feb. 12, if they have not come on their own by then.

Kelley hit 33 weeks today, and considering all that the boys have gone through, we are thrilled that we've made it this far!

As always, thanks for your continued prayers. All of you have been amazing in your support.

Expect the Unexpected

That should be our motto for this pregnancy.

We went to my MFM appt and the fluid levels were more off than they have been in a while. So they wheeled me over to Labor and Delivery where I'm being monitored overnight. We don't have any answers right now. We'll know more after my ultrasound in the morning.

So we're just asking for prayers. For health for our boys. For wisdom for our doctors. For us to make the right decisions. And I've been sick since Monday. They have me on antibiotics so hopefully I'll feel better soon.

Just as with everything else that has happened, we know that God is in control and we are not anxious about this. Thanks for all of your prayers.

32.5 Weeks

I've really enjoyed reading everyone's guesses and reasons why they chose those birthdays for the boys. Its fun to think that we'll know pretty soon. I'm working on putting the guesses up on the sidebar. I'm down to getting about one thing done off my to do list every day. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm now measuring 10 weeks ahead. Yep- as of today I'm measuring 42.5 weeks pregnant. And I'm totally feeling it. I guess that's why I only have 4 shirts that cover my belly.

We also scheduled my induction for March 5 just in case. I have to be honest- I don't think I'm going to make it that far. My belly is stretched beyond normal pregnancy already and the boys are big. I think my water is just going to break one day. That's my guess. Maybe its just wishful thinking because 4.5 more weeks of this belly and weight...ouch.

If you haven't guessed, you still can. Just leave a comment on the post below.